M. Night Shyamalan is back, ready to stun the world again with another stunning cinematic experience full of twists and turns, brilliant dialogue, and stunning performances!
Or not, based upon the trailer.
I’ve been to the cinema quite a lot recently, and I’ve seen the trailer to M. Night Shyamalan’s Trap multiple times. Each time I see it I hate it a little bit more. Not only that, but I hate myself a little bit more, too. Why? Because even though I know exactly the type of crapfast I’m going to be served up, I’ll still go see it.
As I now consider myself something of an expert in this trailer, here are the 5 worst things about it, as they arrive.
1: The Dancing
By this point we’ve already been told that these seats ‘slap’, and seen them eating pretzels as they await the performance. Here, Cooper, the father, tells his daughter that he’s going to the toilet. She tells him she’s going to be fine, and does some weird little hand dance. It annoys me because I can imagine M. Night directing this scene, giving terrible choreographic advice, making the poor young actor perform weird hand movements. It’s like m. Night has never been to a gig and never seen people dance before. It’s a remarkable talent he has, taking talented performers and turning them into these bizarre soulless flesh puppets that he gets to perform his peculiar dance. For another great example of this, see Rufus Sewell in Old.
2. The use of names
I don’t get it. Has M. Night never been involved in an actual conversation with a real human being? Do people tend to give their names to every single other person they ever meet? It comes across as janky and odd. At least these are pretty standard names. I’m looking at you Mid-Sized Sedan from Old.
3. Why does the merch guy know the finite details of the operation?
Again, it’s that M. Night lack of awareness of hom humans or anything else really works. If people having unexpected knowledge works for the plot, then jam it in there! It loses all credability.
4. The Twist!
M. Night Shyamalan is known for his astounding twists, but here, the big twist comes in the trailer itself! Cooper, the brilliant father who has taken his daughter to the gig is actually The Butcher, the man for whom the trap is set!
Admittedly, Shyamalan’s twist in The Sixth Sence was actually pretty cool, but there are other ways to write films. At least this one gets it out of the way early.
5. The Shyamalaverse
This idea of some kind of Shyamalan shared universe is so damn depressing. Glass really was a dire attempt to tie together Unbreakable and Split, but to think these all belong together as some kind of alternative universe..? At least there could be an explanation why every acts so strangely. Maybe the wind from The Happening got to them?
I’ll report back when I inevitably go see this. Maybe that’s the real Trap. No, it’s not the friends we made along the way, but the fact that I keep going to see his damn films, only to be frustrated by them. Turns out I was the problem all along. What a twist!