Think you know what the best Nicolas Cage film is? Are you sure? Have you painstakingly forced them to Face/Off in a laborious quest for the truth?
Yesterday, we looked at the first four ties of the round; today, we finish it off.
Yes, we’re still comparing Nicolas Cage films. We’re trying to work out which is the greatest Nicolas Cage film of all time. Well, not quite: we’re only considering the 52 Nicolas Cage films I watched last year. That means Con-Air is off the list (I watched it again this year, though) and Longlegs is too new. Insane performances like The Wicker Man miss out because I really couldn’t put myself through that again, and I’ve still never seen Wild at Heart. Here’s where we started.
Now it’s time to move onward to discover which films make the quarter finals, and there were some tough choices, I can tell you.
Adaptation vs Snake Eyes
Only four years separate these films, but they’re a world apart in terms of the characters Cage portrays. We’ll start with Snake Eyes. Rick Santoro is a cop willing to turn a blind eye is the price is right, but when someone shoots the defense secretary at a boxing match, he finally finds his morals. Rick Santoro is a flamboyant character, and Cage plays him well. The film is entertaining, with a few twists and turns, but nothing unpredictable. It’s entertaining. Cage does a great job.
In Adaptation, however, Cage plays two characters: brothers Charlie and Donald Kaufman. Charlie has taken on the impossible task of adapting The Orchid Thief. His brother is also a wannabe screenwriter, but more interested in turning out hackneyed trash. The contrast between the two brothers is brilliant, and the meta narrative twists into action cliches as Donald starts to help his brother out. It’s genius. Cage captures both characters brilliantly, which is why it makes the quarter finals and Rick Santoro says goodnight.
The Rock vs Army of One
Obviously, it’s The Rock. Army of One made me laugh, but it doesn’t have Nicolas Cage defusing a bomb in the opening few minutes. Gary Faulkner is a weirdly charming weirdo on a one-man quest to capture Osama Bin Laden (I guess the film’s premise hasn’t aged well) but he’s no Stanley Goodspeed. I could go an about The Rock for bloody ages, but I’ll spare you that for another time as it’s going through to the quarter finals.
Honeymoon in Vegas vs Face/Off
Probably closer than you’d expect based on the fact that Honeymoon in Vegas is weirdly charming and Face/Off hasn’t aged particularly well. Back in the 90s John Woo’s action antic seemed great. Now they’ve been so overdone, they feel a little trite. It’s hard to contextualise it today and say that no, it was pretty original back then, but it does suffer as a result. I’m not a hug fan of Sarah Jessica Parker (nothing specific, but doesn’t tend to appear in the kind of things I like) but in this, she does a good job with the conundrum she’s put in. James Caan is great, too, trying to win her from Nicolas Cage’s Jack Singer. Because this is the Cage/Off, we do have to play a little more attention to Cage, and to be honest, he’s nothing special in Honeymoon in Vegas. He’s entertaining, but compared to his performance in every other film in the film, it ranks pretty low.
And despite the negative comments I made about Face/Off as an action movie, Cage is hamming it up good and proper, particularly in those first few moments when he is unleashed as Castor Troy. Of course it’s going to the quarter finals, even if the very last scene is an absolute travesty.
Willy’s Wonderland vs The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
The final tie of the round is another close encounter. We have the simplicity and the brutality of Willy’s Wonderland facing off against the meta hilariousness of The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. A less honest person would dump out The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, simply because he didn’t want t keep typing that ridiculously long title over and again. And there are plenty of reasons to put Willy’s Wonderland through. It has a ridiculously simple premise. In order to pay for the repairs to his vehicle, Cage’s mute character, known only as The Janitor has to clean up Willy’s Wonderland overnight. Little does he know it’s a ruse, and he’s dinner for the demon-possessed animatronics inside. It’s Cage vs Demon animatronics for pauses every now and then for refreshments, pinball, and dancing. It is truly glorious.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent pairs Nicolas Cage with Pedro Pascal, and it’s a thing of wonder. From their discussions about the greatest movies of all time to their car journey’s together, it exudes joy. Cage not only plays himself with great humour, he also plays a younger version of himself who helps guide his path. There are so many fun moments in this movie that it trumps Willy’s Wonderland.
The Last Eight
Think I’m wrong about any of this? Tell me about it. I dare you.
The Cage/Off would not exist if not for the decidation of some fool to watching a whole bunch of Nicolas Cage films and compiling a bunch of puzzles based upon it.
Do you like Sudoku? What about if Cage-based images replacce the numbers? Do you like looking at pictures of Pedro Pascal and trying to figure out which is the odd one out? Who doesn’t?
Pick up a copy of The Unofficial and Unauthorised Nicolas Cage Puzzle Book here.
