Old is the latest film from M. Knight Shyamalan, and once more I’m left with questions.
Every time I make a decision to go see a movie by M. Knight Shyamalan, I know I’m making a poor choice. I know there are going to be problems. I know there’s going to be some kind of twist at the end. I know he’s going to cast himself in the movie at some point. And yet, I still go, so I guess I get what I deserve.
This time, I got a film more on par with The Happening, than The Sixth Sense which, while derided a little now because everyone bloody knows what was going on, still seemed pretty fresh upon release. I found myself chuckling all the way through it, in disbelief largely at the inexplicable actions of the characters and the terrible script and I was left with the following questions:
1) Who keeps giving M. Night Shyamalan the money to make films?
2) Does nobody check the scripts? Do the actors not ever suggest that a line might be better worded in a certain way, or may be completely redundant?
3) Was that ending in the original graphic novel? I sought the answer for this one, and no, it wasn’t. That was our man M. Knight doing his twist thing. We can’t just have a film about a mysterious beach on which people age (and perhaps some kind of comment about the futility to stop time slipping by), no we have to turn it on its head at the end.
4) Did he really call a character Midsize Sedan? Yes he did. That name didn’t come from the graphic novel.
5) Seriously, no script editor? No second pass by at least one person who has had a conversation with another human before? Do those that have put money into this not insist that someone just gives it a quick once over?
6) Why are the only characters who speak like functioning adults the 6 and the 11 year old when in adult bodies? They don’t have the lifetime of experience and learning to act in that way.
7) Is “It was alive a minute ago,” one of the worst lines ever filmed? I don’t know, it probably wasn’t even the worst in this film, but it stood out to me.
8) Why did characters keep telling us their names all of the time? It would be more understandable if it was the children who grow old quickly so their appearance changes quite dramatically (using a number of different actors) but Jarin told us his name about 5 times, and he was played by Ken Leung throughout.
9) Why are normally competent actors turned into blustering buffoons when Shyamalan’s behind the camera? Does he ask them to act as if they’ve never encountered a human before?
10) Seriously, did no one else look over that script?
And you know what the crazy thing is? The next time he releases a film I’ll go back and put myself through it all again.