My lovely friends in the English department where I work know I’m into the scary stuff, so, very thoughtfully, for my birthday, they bought me a pair of tickets to Horror at Hinchingbrooke House.
What they don’t know, is that I jump at literally everything. As such, this was going to be quite the experience.
I’m not going to take you on a walkthrough of the experience. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for anyone that’s planning to go. Instead, I’m going to give you a flavour of the night, and hopefully that will suffice to tempt you to take part and experience it yourself.
So, the way it works, is you go around in a group of 8. As I was attending with Mrs Langley, we were attached to a group of 6 lads. We followed them into the house and… they promptly hurried ahead while we were studying a meat grinder. We didn’t see them again, so spent the whole time as a fearsome twosome, facing the dangers together. I totally get why the organisers want people to go through in larger groups, but us lagging behind caused no problems at all, with all of the actors back in place ready to scare us all over again before we reached their section. The actors deserve a real pat on the back for being either incredibly still as you walked past, or incredibly creepy as they stood staring into your eyes, brandashing a fake shaving razor, worrying at your throat.
The actors deserve a real pat on the back for being either incredibly still as you walked past, or incredibly creepy as they stood staring into your eyes, brandashing a fake shaving razor, worrying at your throat.
In the first section, passing through Hinchingbrooke House itself we saw, among other things a homage to Sweeney Todd and Whitechapel, creepy plague doctors, and dead and undead pirates. The pirates section was in a library, and we did get a little obsessed with the wonderful panelled door and the glimpses of books on the shelves that weren’t all covered. I guess that’s pretty on-brand for us.
Areas were a mix of classic horror or folklore themed sections and modern movies. An early one of those saw a Saw themes area. They used music from the movies well in these sections and recreate famous scenes. Moving through a corridor with pig carcasses was pretty grim. They weren’t real, but grim nonetheless. All of the hanging props had a bit of weight to them which made the experience feel that bit more authentic. It felt like a bit of a struggle to get through there. There was an awful lot of strobe lighting in the first section, which meant the actors would go from being stationary one minute to right in front of you the next. It made it particularly effective.
I have to confess, in my unease, I ended up talking to the actors, saying, ‘Hello’ (or a personal favourite “Oh! ‘ello!”) when they popped up in front of me and paying them a compliment.
“Oh ‘ello!”
Benjamin Langley – horror author when confronted by someone jumping out in front of him.
Every. single. time.
What was particularly welcoming was after passing through a number of areas, we were out in the open air. There we only had to concern ourselves with the young woman with the baseball bat and the young man swinging a chainsaw.
In fact, there were an awful lot of chainsaw-wielding folk across the whole site. Luckily, I was with one of the UK’s top female chainsaw carvers, who was more interested in looking at said chainsaws, rather than being scared. She quickly noticed that the Stihl MS170s didn’t have chains on them, so were pretty much vibrating bars. That, of course, didn’t make it comfortable when one chap showed one between my legs and lifted it up…
After passing through the night air, we entered the school. I thought it was a great touch that some of the school building was used. From the outside, we could see a flashing pumpkin on a screen – an area dedicated to the wonderful Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. A nice touch here was the authentic Silver Shamrock badges on the back of the masks. This was the obvious place to also put a touch of A Nightmare on Elm Street, and perhaps one of the biggest surprises, but a horror version of The Breakfast Club complete with freaky characters speed-crawling across the table toward you.
freaky characters speed-crawling across the table
I said at the start I wasn’t going to mention every area, and I’ve already said a lot. After leaving the school, there’s a mix of outdoor and indoor areas. Throughout, the space is used so well. The Friday the 13th Camp looks excellent, with tents and a campfire, and the surprises here worked really well. It’s another area where iconic music is used so well.
Beyond the winding passages of each area, there were some disturbing soft floors, areas which needed to be crouched under or crawled through, and even a tiny slide.
Some of the most revolting moments came from the props. No one wants to be touched with a toilet brush or encouraged to sit down as a revolting dinner table with more than a hint of cannibalistic activity. I was already pretty revolted before an alien baby sicked in my mouth. The Area 51 section was really neat, though there was a bigger surprise to come with a section dedicated to a show I just so happen to be watching at the moment.
an alien baby sicked in my mouth
By the time we finished, we’d been inside for a little over an hour, experienced clowns, cannibals and cults, paid homage to Halloween, Friday the 13th, My Bloody Valentine, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Saw and many more.
The design is excellent. You feel utterly disorientated as you pass through blood-stained sheets, turning corner after corner. While it’s a single route and you can’t actually get lost, it never feels comfortable. Lighting is used to great effect, illuminating particularly gruesome props or leaving you struggling to make out the way. The props are high quality. Nothing looks or feels cheap. A huge degree of the success, though, is down to the actors inside, and the make-up artists who make them look so gory. Some of these actors are standing, crouching, or laying in uncomfortable positions for hours over the course of the night, waiting for an opportunity to reach out with a hand and grab you or leap out in front of you. While you’re warned not to touch the performers, they will place a hand on your neck, force you into a seat at a gross dinner table, or jab the bar of a chainsaw into your back. If you don’t like physical contact, it’s probably not for you. Additionally, if mobility is difficult, it’s not going to be suitable. There are narrow passages to navigate and plenty of obstacles.
I had a great time at Horror at Hinchingbrooke House. We didn’t rush around, but enjoyed looking at the scenes, and the anticipation of being jumped out at (there was a lot of looking at feet to decide if a mannequin or a real person leant against the narrow passage). Is it scary? Well, people make you jump, and if you go in with the right attitude towards that, then yes, you can find it scary. You can always dismiss that idea by remembering these are actors and they’re all props, but that’s not really the point. They do a great job of creating scenes that authentically act as scenes from movies, so if you’re into the scary stuff, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a great time.
Horror at Hinchingbrooke House runs every year in the half term week near Halloween. More info here: https://www.enterifyoudare.co.uk/