Anyone that has read Dead Branches knows how important the two decks of Horror Top Trumps are to the young protagonists, and anyone that attended the launch event would have had the opportunity to play Top Trumps with me.
So in the week of Dead Branches’ second birthday, I’m going to share with you my top ten Horror Top Trumps cards. They are not necessarily the most powerful, they don’t have the best artwork, but they’re the ones that I remember most clearly from whenI was a child. Some of them get a mention in the novel.
10 – Thor
Admittedly this is one where the stats endeared me to the character. Physical strength 100?
The only low point is that Horror Rating. That’s because who the heck is Thor? He’s not Norse Mythology Thor: there’s no hammer. He does have a massive sword though, and shiny armour, and four eyes…
Seriously, if you know where this one came from, please get in touch. It has stuck in my head for a long time even though I don’t have a clue what’s going on.
9 – Cannibal
Even as a child I was drawn to the gruesome images, and they don’t get much more gruesome than this (other than, you know, some others on this list…). The idea of a ‘cannibal’ always seemed so exotic when I was a child, with misinformed views of distant tribes putting people in pots and eating them, but only after shrinking their heads for some reason.
We have the bloody knife, the blood dripping from the neck of the greened, shrunked head, and the grimmace of the cannibal. Brlliant.
8 – Lord of Death
Me? The Lord of Death? In your Top Ten? Why thank you!
Look, I don’t know what’s going on here. Is he wearing some kind of red toga? Is he fully dressed beneath that? Isthat a rather handsome head of hair, if so, where the heck is it growing from?
But you know what, skeletal figures have always appealed (can we blame Skeletor there..?) and he’s right up there with the best. I mean, he’s got a title and everything. The Lord of Death. What a guy.
7 – Fu Manchu
I didn’t know who Fu Manchu was when I got these cards. I think it was the name more than anything that stuck with me. Back then, I didn’t know most of these horrors were ripped off from films, and the images too. It’s not even a very good card (Horror rating aside), and the drawing of the skull is bloody awful, but you know what, I’ve got a soft spot for him and it’s my list.
6 – Alien Creature
Just a generic alien creature. No need to even specify a planet whence the alien came. So many things about this card stuck in my head for so many years. There are some scary elements: the whip, the freaky hands, the teeth. But then it has the hair of an aging maths teacher.
I had to use this card in Dead Branches, and rather cruelly, Thomas and Liam joke that their class teacher looks like this unfortunate creature. I think the resemblance was down to her penchant for mustard-coloured cardigans. A pretty rubbish card (again, with the exception of the horror rating) but the image resides forever in my head.
5 – Maggot
Another card which was all about the intrigue (and a little bit about the gore, no doubt). What is Maggot? Maggot is not a maggot. So why is maggot called maggot?
Maggot is enormous. His head is at least twice the size of the human’s head. The look on its face is one of confusion rather than malice. It seems shocked to have found red within the head of its victim. Great card.
4 – Talon
Bird head but with mammal-like hands, but it’s called Talon. So there’s a bit of a theme here. The cards that have stuck with me are the weird ones, those that get my imagination running. Also here though, is a rather grim death, the creature feasting on its poor victim’s neck. This card is elevated by the look on this chap’s face too.
3 – Venusian Death Cell
Another card which meets the criteria of weird stuff going on plus gore. There’s so much more to it though. So this is a cell on Venus. Venus seems to be a criminally ignored planet when it comes to aliens. The humanoid shape of the creature is so poorly drawn, a very basic shape, but then that weird head. What the hell is it?
It was probably the curved blade of the knife and the striken look on the face of the dead man that kept this one in my head.
2 – Dracula
It’s Christopher Lee. It’s a classic pose. The Hammer House of Horror was another huge part of my young horror diet, and this is bloody iconic.
1 – The Fiend
Any surprise that my number one card is also one of the goriest? It’s the movement lines that do it for me, the swipe that has decapitated the poor victim. The face that the bone in his neck appears to be some kind of spring only adds to the charm of the piece.
The monster is a classic hairy beast, its weapons its claws. It seems to be able to kill with a simple swipe of the claws. My only question is why the stats are so low?
So there you go, my ten favourite card. Who have I left out?